Posts tagged blah blah blah

hey? what's up?? 

guess what i've been up to this past month or so?


getting a job at my favorite restaurant

sleeping in (sorta)

walking late at night with my mom

reminiscing about new mexico

and other tidbits. 

something i've cooked/baked-experimented last week was blondies.

i love blondies. i actually don't even remember the last time i had a real blondie. like butter, flour, milk chocolate chunks-- the works. i'm pretty sure when i was little, my mom used to throw in white chocolate and butterscotch chips too. a super blondie, if you will. pretty sure it was these ones...

but these are different. they're also super blondies, but on the other side of the spectrum... not of extravagance but of...healthiness? 

hope i didn't lose you there. 

i've been trying to experiment with new flours and whole foods ingredients and consequently came up with this thing. they're suuuuupuer moist, suuuuuuper healthy, suuuuuper simple (if you have the right ingredients). they're borderline aip-compliant with a few substitutions (if that's your vibe). but regardless, they're incredible and i'm glad i still have 5 more squares in my fridge right now. 

there's also a secret ingredient in them (hint hint at my whole foods experimentation): plantains. or rather, a singular plantain. it adds the moistness of a banana without getting any banana-like flavor at all. aka it tastes like a (neutral-tasting) normal blondie with a health kick to it. bomb.

things i like to hear.

anyway, here's the recipe. it's just an excuse to try out tigernut flour and plantains. you're welcome.

flaked sea-salt plantain blondies

serves 9


what you do

1. preheat oven to 350f. line a 8x8 baking pan with parchment paper (can be hanging off the sides). i do a double-check-non-stick spray on top of the parchment paper, just in case. 

2. in a blender, combine all wet ingredients: peeled plantain, eggs, vanilla, coconut yogurt, and coconut butter until completely smooth.

3. in another bowl, sift dry ingredients: tigernut and coconut flour, beef gelatin, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. mix until combined. 

4. pour wet mixture into the dry and use a spatula to fold wet into the dry mixture. carefully fold in chopped dark chocolate (saving a small handful for the top). 

5. pour (or rather scoop since it's quite thick) batter into lined baking pan and spread evenly. press your remaining small handful of dark chocolate chunks onto the top for ultimate pretty-blondie action. sprinkle flaked sea salt on top for ultra-ultimate pretty-blondie action.

6. bake for 35 minutes or until center is cooked and there is a golden top and a toothpick comes out clean when pierced in the center. 

7. let cool out of the hot pan on top of a cookie rack. make sure to let cool for at least 30 minutes before cutting. 

8. enjoy!

what you need

  • 1 yellow plantain (mine was ~150g)
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract (or 1/2 teaspoon vanilla powder if AIP)
  • 1/4 cup coconut yogurt
  • 2 tablespoons coconut butter, melted
  • 1/2 cup tigernut flour
  • 1/4 cup coconut flour
  • 1 tablespoon beef gelatin
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt


  • 6oz 80%+ dark chocolate, roughly chopped
  • flaked sea salt


"i am right now"

System.out.println("Hello, World!"); 

as the school year is inching (very, very slowly) to a close, everything else seems to be picking up. i see why, but at the same time i'm getting incredibly overwhelmed by work and school and not being (in my mind, creatively) productive. 

the thing that's been on everyone's mind is college. college or school. school and college. school in preparation for college. college in preparation for beyond. beyond in preparation for... even further beyond? i'm getting overwhelmed by that too. 

it feels like every adult asks me, "where do you want to go?" expecting me to have a few universities or professions on my mind. i usually say, "i don't know," and they say, "okay" and stop the conversation. even though my seniority "status" will finally be attainable in just a few more weeks, it's difficult for me to look as far ahead as everyone expects me to. 

like, yeah, i'm going to be heading off to a college in just a few more than 365.3 days, but then again there's still 365.3 days until then. maybe ask me, "what next? what are you focusing on now?" while i'm still getting to that point. i mean, usually i have to ask to myself that anyways. 

because i really mean "i don't know" when i say "i don't know" because i don't... know. i'm almost eighteen now. people tell me that i have my goals straight and my life pretty much figured out, but i don't want it to be like that. 

i can say that i know who i want to be, but not where i'm going to be. right now, i'm right here, with a research paper, a critical analysis paper, 3 AP exams, and a literature exam on my hands. what's next is what's right now. i'm dealing with what's right now.


getting to where i'm going

in my english class, we were given the task to create something inspired by walt whitman's "song of self", which described the individual's search for her own identity. our project was supposed to most authentically represent ourselves in a physical, verbal, or visual medium.

naturally, i chose photography.

here was my introduction to my project:

"it was hard for me to figure out what aspect of my identity i wanted to talk about when the medium in which i wanted to present my project is my identity. the next most logical thing i could about is how art has become a part of who i am. the answer is new york city."