i'm done. officially done. (just not a grad quite yet).

i celebrated my last day of classes with a netflix binge, a steak, and garlic sugar snap peas. maybe not a whole steak. but definitely the majority of one (thanks, abby's mom). 

and then i ate these muffins this morning for a bit of an after-party.

classes are over. may 18. yesterday was my last day of wearing a green kilt, my last english class, my last math class (talking about gerrymandering, of all things), my last lunch out, my last skipping of first period. that was it.  

and yet, it doesn't really feel over. 

the past few weeks have been worrying over outfits and shoes and dates for prom. it's crazy. i never really thought that i would make it to prom (forever ago, it just seemed like some unattainable event in tv shows based in suburbia. which is half true). 

it's coming to an end. and then arising into a new beginning at film school next year. 

damn, i'm a graduating senior. there goes thirteen years of my life.

p.s. i compiled a playlist of songs that have recapitulated those thirteen years. 

if you're a teenager, get ready for nostalgia. 

make sure you listen whilst whipping up these muffins. 

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carrot cake muffins

serves 6

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what you do

1. preheat oven to 350˚F. grease 6 muffin pans and set aside. 

2. in a medium bowl, whisk together almond flour, psyllium husk, flaxseed meal, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and spices. set aside.

3. in another bowl, cream together coconut oil and sweetener until fluffy and light. whip in vinegar and vanilla extract until fully incorporated. 

4. mix in eggs one at a time. (the wet mixture looks a little "broken" at this point. totally normal). 

5. add in the dry flour mixture in two parts. mix for a few minutes until fully incorporated. fold in carrots. 

6. distribute batter evenly into 6 muffin pans, smoothing out the tops. bake for 13-15 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. 

7. let cool, add coconut cream, almond butter, and cacao nibs for some fun. enjoy.

what you need

• 1/2 cup fine almond flour
• 2 tablespoons psyllium husk, ground
• 1/4 cup flaxseed meal
• 3/4 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1/4 cup coconut oil, softened/room temperature
• 1/4 cup granulated sweetener (i used monkfruit sugar)
• 1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
• 1/4 teaspoon vanilla bean powder
• 2 eggs
• 3 medium carrots, finely grated

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yeah, i've made zucchini bread, pumpkin bread, and carrot cake muffins in the span of 15 days.

⌇ 

i've been obsessed for the past few weeks with making bliss balls, fat bombs, nut-seed-coconut snacks. like, blending all the extra seeds or nuts or cacao nibs and nut butters that i have and eating it all. i think i've made a different test batch every day after i've gotten home from school. weird? yeah, definitely. 

i mean, lee's fat bombs have kind of taken over the health-foodie side of instagram, and they look awesome every time. (yeah, i know, "fat bombs" sounds pretty... non-health-foodie, but we'll just go with it). 

i've mentioned that i'm eating more fats and less carbs. these are the perfect snack for this purpose. they're sugar-free and high-fat, so they'll fill me up between meals if i'm on the run. (just like on our road trip for 11 hours at a time, for example).

because of the ~nutritious~ seeds that are in this recipe, these snacks are high in:

1. OMEGA-3s

improves heart health, reduces inflammation, helps menstrual pain, supporst healthy skin, fights autoimmune diseases

2. OMEGA-6s

reduces inflammation, helps reduce nerve pain, lowers high blood pressure, supports bone health

3. POTASSIUM

stimulates neural activity, stabilizes blood sugar and pressure, supports bone health, strengthens muscles, boosts metabolism, reduces anxiety and stress

4. MANGANESE

supports bone health, helps maintain cognitive function, reduces pms symptoms, supports lung health

5. HEALTHY FATS, to keep you fuller longer

for the purpose of my sanity, we'll revise the name from fat bombs to bliss balls. cool? cool.

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ginger bliss balls

serves 10

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what you need

what you do

• 1/2 cup dried unsweetened coconut
• 1/2 cup pumpkin seeds
• 1/4 cup sunflower seeds
• 1 tablespoon flax seeds
• 3 tablespoons coconut butter, melted
• 2 tablespoons almond butter
• 2 teaspoons ground ginger
• monkfruit sweetener (or maple syrup) to taste 
• salt
• hemp or sesame seeds to coat

1. blend everything together in a food processor or high-speed blender

2. sweeten bit by bit with monkfruit (or maple syrup)

2. roll 10 evenly-sized bliss balls. coat with seeds of choice

3. store in refrigerator 

oh happy days.

⌇ 

i finally feel 18. it's a weird feeling as i'm writing this between photos of raw brownies. i feel older and like i have a better sense of what's going on. nonetheless, do i actually really know what's going on? not really.

but i don't have to know what's going on all the time. i don't have to know where i'm going exactly. this is all weird thought processes of adult-dom that's going on in my head right now as college decisions are strangely and unexpectedly around the corner. 

anyway, it's "essentially" spring break right now, meaning that it's exam week but, for me, with the non-existence of exams. so, 3 weeks of freedom here i come. 

i've had a lot of time to think and hang out at home with my parents and my dog and cook and bake and photograph and just do things that i want to do.

it's refreshing once in awhile.

anyways, going back to 1-8. eighteen. "legal adult". able-to-fly-by-myself person. voter. woah.

it's funny, i was reading something i wrote back in 2014 when i didn't feel like a teen yet. how is it possible that just four years ago i didn't even feel like a teenager. and now i feel like an (albeit young) adult? what??? 

i feel comfortable, and i know that that's all going to go away in a few months.

i finally feel like i know where i am (who i am??) and it's all too late before i leave. 

but maybe it's not. maybe it's all supposed to work out like this and i will evolve and settle and grow again. just not here. in california. 

*end of existential crisis speak*

onto the elusive raw brownie. where do i begin. i've made raw brownies in the past, and usually the main ingredient is medjool dates. 

but sugar spikes and bouncing off walls and gi upset (for me)-- so i present, no-date raw brownies. these ooey gooey chocolatey brownies are incredible. 

they have the nutty taste of the hemp seeds (which also give a boost of protein) and the creamy taste of almond butter. it's a health chocolate-almond butter bomb. essentially.

no-date raw brownies

serves 6

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what you need

for the brownies

• 3/4 cup fine almond flour
• 1/2 cup hemp seeds
• 3 tablespoons cocoa powder (i used valhrona)
• 1/4 cup unsweetened almond butter
• 2 tablespoons coconut oil, melted
• 1 tablespoon coconut flour
• 2 tablespoons monk fruit sugar (or just normal sugar if you're not about that life)
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• pinch of salt

for the ganache (optional)

• 1/4 cup cocoa powder
• 1/4 cup coconut oil
• 2 tablespoons monk fruit maple syrup (or just, ya know, normal maple syrup
• 2 tablespoons almond butter
• pinch of salt

what you do

for the brownies

1. blend everything together in a food processor

2. press into a corner of a bread pan (since this is a half recipe)

3. refrigerate or freeze for 10 minutes while preparing the ganache

for the ganache

1. blend together all the ingredients until you get a smooth cream

2. add more cocoa powder if it’s to liquidy

3. pour over your refrigerated brownies and let it set in the fridge

4. cut and enjoy

happy happy st. patty's day.

⌇